When Your Brain Sees Someone Everywhere: How I Broke the Loop

Deimina
Aug 14
3 min read

Person in a crowd fading into the background, symbolizing the brain letting go of a fixed image — A contemplative girl stands with her husky amid a shadowy crowd, embodying the feeling of being surrounded yet isolated.

Sometimes it’s not romance.

Sometimes it’s anxiety.

Our brains are incredibly quick to learn what to watch out for. All it takes is one intense moment of discomfort near someone, and your nervous system saves it as: "pay attention — possible threat".

After that, the scanning starts:

You spot people who look vaguely like them.
You notice silhouettes, gestures, even similar walking patterns.
At some point, it feels like they’re everywhere.

It’s not magic. It’s a survival mechanism — just one that’s working overtime.

Why it happens

Hyper-alert nervous system. My brain was acting like a searchlight, scanning for anything remotely similar to “that person.”
Emotional imprint. The stronger the feelings (anxiety, irritation, curiosity), the deeper the pattern sticks.
Lack of facts. When you don’t know what someone wants or why they act a certain way, your brain fills in the gaps — often with unhelpful stories.

My story

For me, it started with one man at the dog playground — persistent, trying to figure out why I avoided him and his dog. I had no desire to engage, but his presence was intense enough that my brain tagged him as “important.”

And then… I started seeing him everywhere. In the street, in crowds, in reflections. Of course, it wasn’t him — it was just other people in dark jackets, with a specific build, or moving a certain way. But my brain would snap to attention instantly, like a faulty alarm system.

What helped me break the loop

I realised that the problem wasn’t him showing up — it was my brain replaying an old tape on repeat.

The tool that helped me the most was a 5-minute grounding ritual I now use whenever “the face” appears in my mind or in real life.

5-Minute Grounding Ritual — “Reality Scanner” (brain sees someone everywhere as a solution)

1. Freeze & breathe (20–30 sec.)

Stop. One deep inhale through the nose, slow exhale through the mouth.

In my mind: “Stop. Reality check.”

2. Objective scan (1 min.)

I mentally note: height, build, clothing, and unique features.

Facts only — no “looks like” or “feels like.”

3. Comic twist (1 min.)If my brain is still stuck, I imagine them with something absurd:

A giant pink cowboy hat
Carrying a bouquet of broccoli
Walking in flippers down the street

4. Back to my body (1 min.)

I feel my feet pressing into the ground, notice my breathing, and roll my shoulders.

Sometimes I clench and release my fists.

5. Anchor to what’s mine (1–1.5 min.)

I turn to Luna, my husky, and notice three details I love about her — her moon-shaped eyebrows, her gaze, her paw, and her tail.

I think: “I’m here. This is my space. I choose where my focus goes.”

The “pocket version” for on-the-go

When your brain suddenly says “it’s them” — use this in 30 seconds:

Stop & breathe — inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
Find one difference — notice a single detail that proves it’s not them.
Switch your focus — turn your eyes to something safe and grounding (for me, it’s Luna).